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Mon, Feb. 7th, 2005, 07:23 pm

well a ton has happened since i wrote in this, and none of it is any good. i wanted to spend the night at my friends house, no big right so when i call my rents to tell them what i was doin, they said no and well i went anyway, and was 18 hours late of my curfew. so i get any acceces to any vechial that my rents own taken away. yeah it sucks, it would be one thing if they said i couldnt drive to skool i would be fine with that it would save me a ton of money for gas, but not drive at all, holy shit that means no social life at all, unless i get rides and if you know where i live you know that is impossible for me. i live on the edge of south territory on polo side the side that no one lives on. it sucks so bad.

then this girl that i liked well i thought she liked me but i guess i was wrong. why am i always wrong, why do i always do the wrong things, i cant do anything right. im a horrible son, im a horrible student, im probably a horrible friend, probably a horrible boyfriend, that just equals a horrible person who would want to be friends with me, why would someone want to be friends with me. whats the point of careing

this is how i feel

In the car I just can't wait
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that i'm probably gonna miss

Let's go,don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

but i know nothing like this will ever happen

Sun, Jan. 30th, 2005, 07:51 pm
God Damn

today was kind of depressing. i dont kno why i really dont have anything to be depressed about, i got to sleep in till like 12 or 1 i forgot to look to see what time i woke up, did a 30 min workout, shower and then went up to slapshots to see the most beatiful girl in the whole world! but when i got there her best friend was there and its a dude, which isnt bad or anything the kid is fuckin awesome, but i kinda went up there to see her ya kno, and he likes her as much as i do, so ya get the picture. then my X went up there to and all four of us in the same lil area HOLY SHIT that was so fuckin weird.
but the part that made me feel awkward is that when she saw me she asked me why i was there, she knows that i like her, and she likes me, i just dont know if she was sayin that cause that other guy was there or if she really didnt kno. man she is so beatiful, maybe im aimin too high like i allways do, god i hope she will become mine.

Sat, Jan. 29th, 2005, 12:43 pm

this is my first entry to my journal so i like have to make it a good one.

work was cancelled all day today so im now stuck at my house, thankfully one of my friends came over and showed me how to do this cool journal thing. we thought that since people that we both kno call him mop top and me mop top jr. then this would be a good name. and if you dont think so you can kiss my ass cause i like it.

well umm dont know what to say but im so bored and im so hungry but i already had chinese food today. i wanted them to deliever but my rents said no and they said i couldnt go and get it either, so i had to cook some up from yesterday, i love chinese food but it makes me sick cause i think im allergic to it or something and that is how i feel right now. BLAH!

i was lookin through my CDs and my friend Hall told me that i have a very random CD collection, cause i have Kansas, Queen, Green Day, Nirvana, Blink 182, Eminem, Anti-Flag, Every Time I Die, and some others. what can i say im an all around kind a guy. yeah and he also said at skool that i have like so many different types of friends, i dont know what hes talkin about, i kno like 30 people at my skool but a ton of other people kno me. i guess i do have a wide range of friends, i mean why would you just want to be friends with 1 or 2 people, yeah have your small group of your best friends, i have that. but i guess im also friends with some gothic kids, emo, scene, prep, punk, skater, jocks, a few stoners, and the off-roading kids. whatever im havin fun... as long as im havin fun then its cool with me